Jokes about Science

Did you hear about the scientist who was exposed to too much radiation? He went through a half-life crises.

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Why did the lightning get in trouble? Because it couldn’t conduct itself properly!

I couldn’t figure out how lightning worked, but then it struck me.

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. 

Interestingly, I’m average height, but my ankles are over 2 feet.

I have one arm. But I also have two arms. And while I don’t have three arms, I do have forearms.

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe!

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they’re cheaper than day rates!

How often do chemists make mistakes? Periodically!

Why do chemists like bad puns? Because all the good ones Argon!

What is a chemist’s favorite type of dog? A lab!

Why are chemists excellent at solving problems? They always have solutions!

What’s a chemist’s favorite plant? A chemis-tree!

What’s a pirate chemist’s favorite element? Arr-gon!

Why are chemistry jokes so funny? Because they get a good reaction!

What did one ion say to another? “I’ve got my ion you!”

How does a chemist freshen their breath? With experi-mints!

What did the chemist say to the hydrogen atom that lost its electron? “Don’t worry; I’m positive you’ll find it!”

What did the biologist wear to impress his date? Designer genes!

Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry!

What did one DNA strand say to the other? “Do these genes make me look fat?”

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one-molar solution!

Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you might as well barium!

Why do geologists always get invited to parties? They know how to rock!

I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down.

A neutron walks into a restaurant and asks how much for a coke. The waiter replies “For you, no charge”.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent!

What do you call a dinosaur that loves to sleep? A stego-snore-us.

How did the T-Rex feel after his workout? Dino-sore.

How do you know dinosaurs went to school? Because they had lots of history!