Jokes about Holidays

I watched the New Year’s Eve in Times Square ball drop on my 4K TV but I think it only broadcast at 1080p. So anyway, since we’re all sharing, that was my new year’s resolution.

What kind of flowers should you not give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers!

What’s the most common New Year’s resolution in January? To stop procrastinating…starting tomorrow!

Why was the Easter egg hiding? It was a little chicken!

What’s the best day to monkey around? Ape-ril Fool’s Day!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes!

How do sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!

What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite snack? Fire-crackers!

What do kids and fireworks have in common on the 4th of July? They’re both a little too loud sometimes!

What did the ghost say on the 4th of July? “Red, white, and boo!”

Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.

Why was the Christmas tree so bad at sewing? It kept dropping its needles!

What do you call an old snowman? Water!

How does a snowman get around? By riding an icicle!

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!

What’s the best thing to put into Christmas dinner? Your teeth!