Jokes about Objects

Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? Because it had more cents.

What were the balloons last words to his father? Watch me, pop!

The piano is one of the hardest instruments to pick up

What do you call a broken pencil? Pointless.

What lights up a soccer stadium?  A soccer match.

What is the number 1 game in the world?  Uno.

Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Why did the scarecrow get a raise? He was outstanding in his field. 

Have you heard about the new broom? It’s sweeping the nation.

Have you heard about the two antennas that got married? The wedding wasn’t great, but the reception was amazing!

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

I have a fear of speed bumps. I’m slowly getting over it.

I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.

Why did the beach towel go to therapy in July? Because it was feeling wiped out!

What’s an umbrella’s favorite type of humor? Dry humor!

What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing—it just waved!

What season is best to go on a trampoline? Spring time!

Why did the girl bring a pencil to her singing lesson? To draw out the notes!

Why did the singer always carry a pencil? In case she needed to draw a crowd!

How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue!

Why did the saxophone break up with the trumpet? Because it found someone more in tune!

I tried to tie two ropes together, and found out I could knot.

The inventor of the ballet skirt was really struggling with what to name it. Until he finally put Tu and Tu together.

I’m not sure if I like rocking chairs. I keep going back and forth on them.

Wanna hear a joke about a parking ticket? No? Fine!

What did the pen say to the pencil? You’re pointless without a sharpener.

What did the eraser say to the broken pencil? Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.

Why did the pencil go to therapy? It couldn’t erase its past mistakes.

Why was the pencil always telling secrets? Because it was sketchy.

How do pencils pass the time? They just draw it out!

Why did the pencil keep to itself? It didn’t want to be rubbed the wrong way.

Why did the pencil get kicked out of the pencil case? It was drawing too much attention.

What did the pencil say to the sharpener? You bring out the best in me.

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits!

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper!

Why did the socks go to therapy? Because they had pair issues!

What kind of coat goes on wet? A coat of paint!